Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012 New Years Resolutions

I'm not usually big on resolutions, but this year I have decided to make three of them.

ONE: I will be a better girlfriend. I will facilitate more communication, and I will make life easier for PB.
TWO: I will make more friends. Real friends. The kind who can accept me for who I am.
THREE: I will better myself in some way. Preferably more than one.

What are your resolutions?

Friday, December 30, 2011

2011: In Blog Posts

Tomorrow, we'll wrap up 2011.
We'll send it out with a BANG!
And we'll welcome 2012 with open arms.

In celebration of that this week I have been looking back on 2011.
Tomorrow, I will post my resolutions for 2012.
But today I have a confession ....

I have another blog.

You may have already known that. But I do.
I love to write, and I started my blog in February 2011.
I chose to begin another blog in August because I knew my family would not appreciate the content that I wanted to post. So, I chose to go by Anon Y. Mous for awhile. Today, I'm looking back at 2011 through my previous blog posts. Most of which were posted at my other blog. I didn't steal this content. It belongs to me. 

So, here is 2011 in blog posts.

JANUARY: I wasn't blogging anywhere in Jan 2011 so there is no blog post for this month.

FEBRUARY: Tennessee Bound
February 11, 2011
Just as soon as I finish this I will be throwing all my warm clothes in a bag and headed to Tennessee! It’ll be my first time making this trek, so I’m still a little nervous. But the awesome weekend festivities that lie ahead of me will definitely make up for the long drive. I’m going to keep this really short today because my to-do list is atrociously long. I’m really only posting today because I mentioned yesterday that I would begin my 100 day challenge today, and I’m trying to kick my procrastinating ways.

Day 01 – A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

1. I will lose all my teeth (according to my dentist) and probably my life (according to Joyce) because of my addiction to Mountain Dew.

2. I’m struggling with being content with what I have even though my rational mind knows I’m super blessed.

3. I haven’t bitten my nails in a month. Will this last forever? Maybe.

4. I’ve fallen in love with eBay.

5. I go a little crazy in the kitchen. My whole family needs to use the Wii workout games more often to counteract my sugar overloads. (And no I’m not calling anyone fat!)

6. I can’t find anything in my room. It’s atrocious.

7. I love music especially the kind with awesome lyrics, but I appreciate all kinds thanks to my music geek sister.

8. I love my sister. She’s my better half. But when she has kids, I won’t be the one raising them and supporting them. Remember this, June, you can be a bum till you have kids then you better be bumming off someone other than me. hehe. Iloveyou!

9. I love Valentine’s Day! It’s never been a romantic holiday for me. Just one filled with love.

10. My life is filled to overflowing with wonderful people who I love!

11. I love being around people who like me for who I am – people I don’t have to pretend around.

12. My parents are awesome! (Yes, I know.)

13. Tybee Island is my home away from home. If I could afford to, I would live there forever.

14. I did my own taxes.

15. I eat sugar for breakfast. Sugar and Mountain Dew. Breakfast of Champions.

MARCH: Happy Birthday!

March 23, 2011

Happy Birthday, PB!

26 years. Happy Birthday!!
Where do I begin? I’m truly grateful that God brought you back into my life. My reasoning for that is probably quite selfish. However, I do want to thank you for opening my mind, for teaching me to not judge others but instead to show love and mercy as God has shown me. In so many ways you and I are alike, I love that about you [Lol, that didn't sound self-involved at all ;) ]. Your honesty still takes me by surprise but it’s also the characteristic of yours that stands out the most to me. Your wild child ways are slowly giving way to the responsible adult you’re becoming. You’re sweet, kind, caring, honest, trustworthy, hardworking, and generous. And today we celebrate you!
Happy Birthday, baby! I pray that God blesses you with many more birthdays and that you will always follow His direction and will in your life! I love you.

April 28, 2011

When you put personal things on the internet, they are no longer personal. For that reason, I am trying to censor my thoughts as I post daily. However, I feel like I’m doing myself an injustice. When I look back on this years from now, I want to be able to see my raw feelings. And if that means that I have to show them to the world (since I’ve never been an organized journalist), then so be it. Two days after I turned 24, the man who stole my heart decided he didn’t want me anymore. I could probably have handled just about anything, but he made it clear that I was no longer his first choice (or any choice for that matter). And I couldn’t handle that. We have a tumultuous past at best, so I feel like I should have been more prepared for this. But I wasn’t … the past few days have been all across the board. But I’ve made it to today. And today looks like this ….

“It’s a fricking rollercoaster!!!
I’m ok one day and wallowing in self-pity the next.
One moment I’m so mad at him I can’t see straight and the next I’m wishing he would call.
I’m losing my mind.
But I knew better.
I knew better.
I told myself to stay away from those blue eyes.
I know what they do to me.
I knew I would fall.
I knew it would hurt.
I wanted to believe that he could love me forever.
But I’m just not that kind of girl.
Joyce is hell bent on hooking me up.
So, I tested the waters last night.
I hunted down my most trusted DB’s.
And I did what it took to make them say nice things about me.
But it meant nothing.
I couldn’t even get my usual high.
Apparently, somewhere in the last 4 months, I changed. A lot.
I’ll be okay. But I don’t want anyone new.
I don’t even want the DB’s.
Oh I know there will be nights when they come in handy.
And I know there will be a time when I’m ready to feel those butterflies again.
But not now. Now, I don’t want anything except him.
Silly? Yes. Stupid? Hyeah!
But I won’t lie.
If I could figure out how to push his buttons, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Even if it wasn’t real. Even if it wasn’t love.
I swear I said once that I didn’t want to be this girl anymore.
But that’s what I get for falling into those blue eyes once again.”

May 16, 2011

[1] And the countdown has begun …

In 3 short days, I will leave OSFA and start a new chapter in my life. I’m completely emotional, super nervous, and very excited! It’s hard to be “business as usual” with such inner turmoil.

[2] Oreo Balls

The men at fire station 3 are going to love me :) I finally broke down and made another batch of Oreo balls. Just for them. Of course now I have Oreo bits all under my finger nails … makes me look tough ;)

[3] Alcohol

This may offend you, but I’m not sure that I care. My personal opinion goes like this … I think a person who has to drink to get over someone (or something) is a pansy/wuss/wimp/etc. If you can’t handle emotional pain without alcohol, then you are more of a girl than I am. And that is pathetic.

[4] Congrats to BPC & UGA grads!

We traveled to the great metropolis of Mount Vernon, GA this past weekend to watch some very special friends graduate. And nearly all cried when the Christina received the very last of the Bachelor’s of Music from Brewton-Parker College. While I was 3.5 hours away, some great friends and colleagues graduated from the college of the red and black! Congratulations to all you bulldog alumni! I know you all worked super hard (total understatement) for that piece of paper :)

[5] If you are what you eat …

then I’m Italian this week. Pasta, pasta, pasta!

[6] That’s a wrap!

My brain is taking a long weekend so that’s all I have for today :) 

JUNE: Macaroons

June 16, 2011

If you’re looking for a way to make me fall in love with you …. here it is.
Hunt down a thousand of these little suckers and present them to me as the best “for-no-reason-at-all-honey” gift EVER. I might marry you on the spot. Or if marriage isn’t your thing then I would simply love you for the rest of my life :) 

 July 11, 2011

{1} Moving is for the birds.

Two weekends of moving parties has made me want to put off my own. I would definitely prefer to schedule my moving party sometime OTHER than the middle of a Georgia summer. However, if I met the perfect house today and was given the chance to move tomorrow, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Maybe I could even rope some friends into helping me ;)

{2} I like big trucks, and I cannot lie.

‘Tis true. If DB #12′s truck suddenly goes missing, I did not steal it. Of course I’ll have to rehearse my statement about having no recollection of the events or actions of which I am being accused. Seriously, though, I had the opportunity to drive around in DB #12′s truck Saturday, and now I want one [see here]. His F150 drives like a dream, and I look darn good in it! If the gas needle didn’t fall so fast, I’d definitely put it on the TOP of my “next car to buy” list!

{3} I might have control issues.

This has been established due to my intense paranoia when riding on ATV’s or in vehicles operated by someone OTHER than me. I originally chalked my “Oh-My-Gah-I’m-Gonna-Die” attitude up to pure wimpiness but have since decided that if I were driving said car/truck/four-wheeler/etc I’d be flying like a race car driver and LOVING it! Hence the reason I do believe that I may have a few minor control issues. (Le Señor is reading this going “Duh, girl, I’ve been telling you that you’re a control freak FOREVER”.)

{4} Love is spelled “G-R-I-L-L” in my book.

Currently, I’m lusting after the pork chops that will be grilled up and waiting for me when I get home tonight. Yum! There’s nothing better than food cooked on the grill in the summertime. When I host my own housewarming party (which I know is practically immoral in the book of Southern etiquette), if you want to give me a grill (and a man to work it) I would definitely move you right up into the “Best Friend of All Time” spot.

{5} You turn my brain to mush ….

and not in a good way. I have spent a good deal of time with DB #12 this weekend. And I swear to goodness that man’s lack of vocabulary and intense stupidity disregard for common sense make me stupider the longer I’m around him. I think he’s secretly a zombie in disguise. He is turning my brain to mush, so he can drink it as a slushie. I realize that this sounds super harsh, but it’s a fact [not my opinion] (well it may be sorta my opinion ….. but I’m not alone). And just because I know le sibling LOVES it I’m inserting the zombie song for your listening pleasure.

{6} The search begins again …

Movie night is rolling around again, and I need a G-rated movie that teenagers won’t throw a hissy fit about. I’m beginning to think this is nearly impossible. However, if you know of ANY decent movies, I’d appreciate your input. In the end, I’ll just force them to watch whatever I can get my hands on which is why they love me dearly.

August 12, 2011

Wow, it’s hard to believe that today is Friday. This week has just flown right on by. Okay so a quick recap of yesterday and then I’ll dive right into Q & A’s. I think now that I’ve had a day to distance myself from the situation that I can right this without it being just a long, drawn out rant.

Yesterday morning, I let Le Señor borrow my car. [Note to self: Don't let ANYONE borrow your car.] At about 9:30 my phone rang and a kind gentleman who works at the FC Courthouse informed me that my car was in their parking lot, he had my keys, and I needed to get the car before 5 or it would be towed. Keep in mind I’m 45 miles away from the FC Courthouse and that I have no car. My day quickly turned into a call, tell my story, and beg like the dickens day. I established that my total “real friend” count is not a 2 digit number.

After being turned down more times than I could count, I was beyond upset. So, of course I did what I always do when life sucks. I hiked my butt down to the H/H Academic Bldg and set my butt down at Joyce’s desk. I poured my heart out and she agreed to help as a last resort. I know that Joyce doesn’t have much leave time and that she needs it for her grandbabies. So, I originally told her not to worry I would find someone. Which led to a lot more calling and a few people who genuinely cared but were unable to help for reasons such as sickness and distance. Of course just as many people I called didn’t care at all. Why did I think these people were my friends? By the end of the day I was calling people I didn’t know at all. And doing everything in my power to get in touch with Le Señor’s parental units (not an easy task).

Fast forward to the point where I gave up and called Joyce and cried and begged. Then I called her boss and begged him to let her off work. She took leave for me and drove her precious car all the way to FC so that I could have a nice little chat with the sweet man who was holding my keys hostage (if you can’t see the green slime here then you need to invent a sarcasm font RIGHT NOW).

Secure in Emmie with Le Señor’s belongings, I set off to find his parents. An hour and a half later, I finally had the details on Le Señor, I had handed off his wallet (sorry boo I just didn’t think I need to be the one to hold that), and had learned many, many lessons. Le Señor and I will be having a lengthy conversation in the [hopefully] near future.

In the meantime, all’s well that ends well. And Emmie and I have been happily reunited. And since today is Friday and Mrs. M was quite optimistic today (and I’m borrowing some of her optimism), let’s answer some questions. Seriously, join up with any of these hops they are all fantastic!!

Birthday Edition. Happy Birthday, Lauren!
1.   My most favorite birthday was my 21st. I was surrounded by friends with a boyfriend who tried really hard to make it special. It was pretty much downright awesome. And I still love the pictures from that night.

2.  My worst birthday was somewhere between 18 and 21 (most likely 19). It was one year when I didn’t plan my own party and my parents just took me out on the town. Of course Sibling didn’t come home either and that year the wife was hiding out as well. Thankfully baby cousin came with us or I would have lost it. Oh and we ran into my ex and his then girlfriend who had once been my friend (i had affectionately renamed her “slut”) Ah …. Drama!
3.  My favorite birthday memory is   the appearance of the purple bag. That tradition is my favorite and always makes me feel special.
4.  The best birthday present I’ve ever received was my bread maker! Hands down. I love it!
5.  The  best birthday present I’ve ever given was Carlitos who is a netbook. Adorable, stubborn, and all around perfect!
6.  Birthdays are  the greatest inventions EVER! They’re kind of my favorites. I love, love, love them! And I don’t care whose they are. I think they should be giant celebrations that go on for days.
7.  My favorite age so far has been 24. Honestly, I can’t think of an age I didn’t like, but I like to believe each age is better than the last. And 24 has been pretty awesome (in a rocky kind of way)!

1. When I was younger, I always wanted a pony. Seriously! Of course after a disastrous ride on a Camp Maranatha horse, I was scared silly of the boogers. But I still wanted a cute little Shetland pony!
2. I don’t remember the last time I had a boyfriend that my family liked …
3. During a good dream when the alarm clock goes off, all I want to do is hit the snooze button and go back to bed.
4. The days of old remind me of dirt ceilings. Yes I know my sense of humor is strange, but this cracks me (personally) up. So deal with it.

September 21, 2011

“If I wake up in World War III
I see destruction and poverty
And I feel like I want to go home
It’s okay if you’re coming with me
‘Cause your love is my love
And my love is your love
It would take an eternity to break us
And the chains of Amistad couln’t hold us”
- “My Love is Your Love” by Whitney Houston

Today I’m loving that I get to spend two hours with my teenagers :) 

I’m loving that Hannah & Jimmy are getting married this weekend!

I’m loving that my mother taught me that things don’t magically happen. You have to actually do something to make something happen!!!

I’m loving that I totally just summed up my afternoon rant in a sweet little “I’m loving ..” statement.

I’m loving that I have my first office party this Friday night!

I’m loving that Tay woke up early today so he’s pestering the bejeezus out of me [That's not sarcastic. I'm 
really loving that!]

I’m loving that I managed to get two of my cavities filled earlier this week and that I set up an appointment for my crown. I’m loving this in that it will hopefully stop my teeth from hurting so bad I want to go on a killing spree.

I’m loving that Twelve bought my dinner last night. And I got to try Checkers for the first time. Their fries might be the absolute best ever!!!

I’m loving that I only have one class tomorrow night. Maybe I will have a chance to actually bake for the party.

I’m loving that I get to spend Mondays at my parents’ house watching DWTS.

I’m loving that gas is down to $3.29 in G-ville.

I’m loving that soon my walls will not be so dawggone bare!

I’m loving that next month I’m heading to Tennessee [twice!].

I’m loving that I finally rearranged our office supplies and moved the majority of them OUT of my office!!!

I’m loving that I just looked out my window and say a few leaves that are red/orange/yellow!

I’m loving that I am in such a loving mood today.

And most of all I’m loving the amazing people who put a smile on my face daily :) 

October 3, 2011

  1. Twelve spent the weekend in SC with his mom. And has therefore been out of the loop of the daily Queen drama, so he’s headed into Athens today to take me to lunch and catch up on the insanity of my life. [Read: Free lunch! Yay!]
  2. Chess squares are going to be the death of me. I love them! Maybe just a little too much.
  3. I picked up all the Sibling’s rugs the last time I was at le casa de parental units. And I’m going to have to pull out my “house socks” because apparently hardwood and tile floors are COLD when the temperatures drop!
  4. In 4 days I will be in TN chillaxing with le Sibling! I’m stoked :)
  5. I am cooking at my parents’ house tonight. And I am looking forward to being able to cook in a fully stocked kitchen. Ah the little things!
  6. Dancing with the Stars is on tonight! It eats up my only free night, but I love it just the same.
  7. I’ve fallen in love with “Hart of Dixie” …. It’s my new favorite show.
  8. My childhood best friend is getting married in a few short weeks. And I’m not in the least bit jealous. I used to think I would be and in the past I have been jealous of girls who were getting married, but right now I’m very happy where I am in life. I’m blessed with a kooky best friend who drives me NUTS and who I occasionally want to kill but who doesn’t judge me. I have the best sister in the world – hands down – no argument! And the most awesome family/church/crew who also attempt to make me lose my sanity but who love me unconditionally. And I have the greatest boy ever. He’s ah-mazing! And I am so thankful to call him mine even if there are a few miles between us at the moment. Oh oh and I have a kickbutt house and frickin’ fantastic job! Life as a SWF is GOOD! [But Congrats to Robyn & Marcus!]
  9. I have new boots! I have them on today and at the moment I’m fearful that they are the source of the gasoline smell that is overpowering me. Hmmm … I’m hoping the heat in this building to blame for the smell. Either way my boots are awesome.
  10. I totally went on a red and black shopping spree last weekend … My grocery budget did not love that.
  11. Fall decor is slowly creeping into my house and my office. And the leaves outside my window are becoming red and orange. Makes me feel blessed to live in a climate that experiences Fall.
  12. Today is Airman’s birthday! I do believe he is 23 this year. Lord help us all. We are getting old fast! LOL. Happy birthday, A! Hope you have a fantastic birthday filled with surprises and excitement [and not TOO much work].
  13. My parents’ anniversary is this weekend! I forget how long they have been married … It’s been over 30 years I do believe.
  14. Our friendly neighborhood “Michael” [who is actually named Thomas] has stopped by and is bending the ear of Dr. A who is across the hall from me. Oy vey! I’m going to know this kid’s life story backwards and forwards soon.
  15. And as a final note [both to get me to my magic # of 15 and to give me an outlet for a little venting], it is noon and Twelve is still 15 minutes away with some idiotic plans of parking for free downtown [haha!]. I hate going to lunch late, so I’m borderline pissed! And on that note welcome to Monday :) Hope you all have Marvelous Mondays and that you don’t have to wait on idiots!
NOVEMBER: Day 8: Le Mail

November 8, 2011

sweet Halloween cards that my broked mailbox finally spit out and happy letters from Le Señor. I’m super thankful that he’s out of his funk and that my bestest friendly texted me last night! I have missed our text dates :) 

DECEMBER: Graduation Time

December 16, 2011

My little sister graduates today. As you read this, I am sitting in the field house at Carson-Newman College waiting for her name to be called. As I write this, tears are welling up in my eyes. The roller coaster ride that this graduation prep has become has kept my emotions at bay, but as I sit here and begin to think of how extremely proud I am of my little sister the tears threaten to spill.
June has always been “My Baby!” ever since she was little and I wanted to tote her around like a great big baby doll. We’ve had our share of ups and downs. Our years of icky little sister and bossy big sister. But somewhere along the way my baby sister became my very best friend. June has always been the brains of the family, so we should have all seen this coming … She started playing the piano eons ago and was fantastic from the get go. As a beginner, she was painfully shy and prone to temper tantrums. It’s hard for people to believe that now, but I promise it’s the truth. Her talent, however, shone through her tantrums and shyness. I spent a good deal of time in piano recitals. When she moved away from home to go to Brewton-Parker College, we were all shocked. June has always been a homebody so the thought of her moving 4 hours away from home was unheard of. But she did. And she cried the whole first year … But the next year was better. And during the years spent there she made some of the best friends. When Brewton-Parker did away with the school of music, we weren’t sure June would recover. But she did and moved far, far away AGAIN. This time out of state. She began attending Carson-Newman College and worked harder than hard to finish up her degree. At the end of her last semester of classes before student teaching, we were all a little worried about June as a teacher or even in a classroom daily. However, this semester of student teaching has proven that my baby sister can surprise even me. The woman who stands in my little sister’s shoes today is confident and capable. She is calm and collected. She is sarcastic and nurturing. She has a wide circle of friends and people who love her in two different states. She has worked very, very hard. And she is now a college graduate!
I’m so very proud of you, JuneBug! And I love you very much!

Happy New Year!
- Babygirl -

Thursday, December 29, 2011

2011 in Quotes

This week is all about reminiscing about 2011 and preparing for 2012.
Today, it's all about the quotes that sum up this year.
Here are 12 quotes. One a month.
That I fell in love with this year.
Because sometimes someone else can just say it better than me...

Source: via Annie on Pinterest












PS - What quotes fit your 2011?!?!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A Look Back on the Learning

This week I'm looking back at 2011.
And gearing up for 2012.

Today is all about the things I have learned this year.

  • Plans change. Fast.
  • Love is worth it.
  • Even the best of friends aren't always reliable.
  • You need at least one person who would be willing to bail you out of jail.
  • Everyone needs to vent occasionally. Just be careful who you spill your heart to.
  • Be very careful with your heart.
  • Be willing to change. 
  • Home is where the heart is. Even if that place is a one room tin can.
  • Being 24 and not married is not a sin.
  • Leaving me for another girl the day after my birthday is hard to forgive.
  • Humans screw up. A lot.
  • When words fail, music speaks.
  • Always say I love you.
  • You never know when your last kiss will take place. Make every one spectacular.
  • Letters haven't gone out of style.
  • My choices don't make me subhuman.
  • It's okay to cry, but don't wallow.
  • God is in control.
  • And He has awesome plans even when they don't look so awesome to me.
  • Sometimes things fall apart.
  • And that's okay.
  • Life is good.
  • God is amazing.
  • And Love is real.
Here's to learning many more things in 2012!

PS - What did you learn in 2011?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

2011: Month by Month

This week is all about looking back on 2011 in anticipation of the beginning of 2012.
And today, we'll take a walk through each month.

January - The Beginning of Part II of our love story. I was given a second chance at a lifetime of happiness with PB. A month filled with snow and love.

February - The best Valentine's day ever. I was totally spoiled by PB. I got to give my 14 days of love gifts. And my sweet man surprised me with roses and jewelry and pretty words. And that, my friends, is one of the MANY reasons I love that man.

March - PB turned 26. He got reintroduced to my parents. That really didn't go so well. However, the birthday celebration wasn't all that bad. Over all it was a month of ups and downs that involved a lot of nights spent curled up in the tin can talking over anything and everything.

April - I turned 24. And Chica entered the picture. Needless to say, this was not actually a great month for me. It was a month of struggles for me. A rollercoaster month.

May - The month of Chica. After this post we will no longer talk about her. Because she is officially a part of our past. But this was the month in which I realized my identity is in Christ. I became a stronger me and a happier me. I started a new job and realized that my dream of moving out of my parents' house could soon become a reality.

 June - And because I was given two months of heartache to grow into a stronger, more sure version of myself, PB and I reconciled on June 23. We started a relationship that was based mainly on friendship. A relationship that moved slowly as we both rebuilt trust. A relationship that is now strong enough to walk through any fire. The kind of love and trust that penetrated steel and concrete.

 July- A month of what seemed to be amazing opportunities. PB got a new job. I settled into my job. And we both grew closer and closer. Communication lines were open. Money was in the bank. And life seemed to be on the up and up.

August - And then it all fell apart. The job fell apart. And PB left. And it was time for me to pick up the pieces. I spent a month working harder than I had ever worked before. A month of accepting facts, mourning the separation, and growing in my relationship with Christ.

September - I moved into my new house! And started life on my own. There were bad nights. But there were also phone calls from PB. And letters and good times. There were nights spent with good friends and smiles and laughter.

October - My first Halloween in my new house. I loved handing out candy to Trick or Treaters. It was the first time I had ever had Trick or Treaters. Highlight of my month. I forget the highlights of the PB saga that were associated with this month. I just know that I was enjoying time spent with Twelve. I had friends, family, church, my own home, and constant (sorta) communication with PB. Contentment was the word of the month.

November - Thanksgiving. A rough holiday for me. However, this year we managed to have a completely drama free family gathering. It was amazing and certainly noteworthy. PB moved around. Twelve moved to South Carolina. And the month of December loomed in front of me.

December - With Twelve in SC, I made new friends [Kid & CC]. I wrecked my car. And then managed to buy a new one in less than two weeks. I took the new car on a trip to TN. My little sister graduated from college. I managed to plan a blowout party for her. Christmas slipped up on me way too fast. And I learned that sibling planned on moving back to TN if the opportunity arose. I made my peace with that.

This year was beyond eventful and these are just a few of the MANY things that happened this year. It was a fantastic year, and I'm thankful for every minute of it. Even the rough parts.  Here's hoping that 2012 is just as wonderful! Or maybe even more so. [Hey, a girl can hope right?!?!]

Monday, December 26, 2011

The Power of a Song: Music of 2011

These are my musical dedications.
It's time for a week of reflecting on 2011.
Saying my goodbyes and preparing for a brand new year.

Today I'm posting about the songs that made this year special.
Beware, my sappy alter ego may come out as most of these are dedicated to PB.

^^^ This was the first song of the year that made me think of PB. I wasn't sure that love could last over the span of 10 years apart. And all I knew was that our New Years Kiss definitely felt good on my lips.

^^^ When we first heard this song, PB & I both agreed that it fit us to a T. Our first kiss went a little something like this :)

^^^ PB dedicated this song to me early on this year. Song lyrics are kind of our love language.

^^^ And then one night PB broke out the big guns. He sang this song to me while I was sitting on the bed in the tin can. I cried my eyes out.

^^^ That same night he looked into my eyes and said this next song is our song. And he was right. He sang this to me as he wrapped his arms around me. And I couldn't help but think this is our story.

^^^ There were many a day that I sang this song nonstop. I was slaving away at a fulltime job wishing I was home with PB.

^^^ The first time I heard this song I thought of PB. It makes me cry even now. I can't explain it. It's just beautiful.

^^^ During the good times in our relationship, my music taste was fun and lovey dovey. This one was perfect for that. And I really was PB's shotgun girl. And loved every minute of it.

^^^ I put this song on PB's Valentine CD, but it wasn't until after he was gone that I felt the full impact of this song. I now sing it at the top of my lungs when I'm in the car. Change green eyes to blue eyes and this is us.

^^^ This one doesn't really have a super meaningful significance. I just fell in love with it.

^^^ During the rougher parts of our relationship, this song was pretty much my mantra.

^^^ When PB decided to explore what he thought was greener pastures, I put this song on replay. It helped me focus on myself as a person not as a subordinate to someone else. It was inspiring.

^^^ And while PB was in this middle of his fling with Chica, I was jamming to this song. Ready to spread my wings and fly again.

^^^ Of course separation from PB wasn't all fun and games. There were many days that this was my theme song. Or Alanis Morrisette's Not As We. Go here to watch that video.

^^^ Of course Eric Church makes everything better.

^^^ After PB and I reconciled, he dedicated this song to me. It still gives me chills when I listen to it.

^^^ While we were working out our differences, PB told me that this song would always be his dedication to me. Now it is my dedication to him as well.

^^^ For the short of extent of time we were physically together after our reconciliation this was the song that I said best fit us. "Fire and Gasoline. You're no good for me and baby I'm no good for you".

^^^ This song will probably always make me cry. It was the song that was playing on the radio the day PB drove me to work for the last time. I kissed him goodbye that morning not knowing that I wouldn't see him again. At least not this year. This song breaks my heart.

^^^ I fell for Amber Lawrence early on this year, but I thought then that this song didn't fit me. I thought I was independent and liked being on my own. I quickly realized that this wasn't the truth. I know now that this song is definitely one of the theme songs for the year.

^^^ Adele has gotten me through so much.  I love her voice and her music. She would be my choice for Person of the Year (if I got to choose).

^^^ On my own, I broadened my musical horizons and fell fast for Eden's Edge.

^^^ And this song cracks me up. I love it. Thanks, Justin!

^^^ And just last week I sent PB the lyrics to this song. It fits us. You may not like it. But it does.

^^^ And as crazy as this one sounds. This one is so my song for PB. Sweetheart, this is my last dedication of 2011. This is my song to you. I love you!

^^^ Ah. This is the song that makes me smile. I hope 2012 brings many smiles to you and yours. And I hope that music plays a big part in your next year.

PS - What songs were you jamming to in 2011?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

It's Christmastime!

Darling PB,

It's Christmas Eve. Today, I'm so thankful we don't have children. As crazy and random as that seems, I'm thankful that I don't have to explain your absence to anyone but myself. Just so you know, I told Santa to drop off your presents at my house. So when you get home, they will be waiting on you. Now the house is decorated. Stockings are hung. Tree is trimmed. Boxes litter the floor. And I'm off to my parents' to enjoy a little family time. Maybe by this time next year you'll be back home to celebrate with me :) And dollface, I promise that while your Christmas present will be late this year that I will get it to you ... somehow. Merry Christmas, darling!

Love always,

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Santa Claus is on his way ...

Merry Christmas, Everyone!
Santa Claus comes tonight :)
Today, I'm celebrating with my immediate family at my parents' house.
It's a lazy day filled with orange pancakes, lots of presents, and a house full of love.
I hope you've finished shopping and wrapping and are enjoying a bit of rest this Christmas Eve.

While you are resting, enjoy a few Christmas pins [Thanks, Pinterest!]

<="" Babygirl

Friday, December 23, 2011

6 Months ...

My dearest PB,

Today is our official 6 month-versary ...

We've been apart 4 of those 6 months. I can't tell you whether or not this separation has been an aid or a hindrance to the longevity of our relationship. However, I do know that there is no distance that will hinder my love for you. I feel as though I have always loved you. And I'm convinced I always will.

We still have 20 more months before we can be together again ...

So, when you read this ... this is what I want you to know. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I am so thankful that you are in my life. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone looking at us from the outside, but I know the real you. I know the you that most people are never fortunate enough to meet. I know the you under the labels. I would follow you to the end of the earth. I would rather live in the Tin Can with you than in my 2 bedroom home alone. I just wish I had more words to say "I love you".

I know we disagree on the day we first met. And I can tell you why that it is ... I knew you long before you knew me. The first time I visited Providence I saw you ... and fell immediately. I was a gangly preteen who you didn't look twice at. On the day you actually "saw" me for the first time I was smitten. But I'm not dumb I don't admit to falling fast. I backed off and played you like a fiddle. A typical move of my teenage self. I never expected in a million years that you would still love me 10 years later, but I'm so glad you do.

My prayer for you today is that you would open your eyes and your heart to the love and peace that only the Lord Jesus can provide. I pray that He will fill your heart with wisdom (the ability to see God's plans) and knowledge of Him. I pray always for your safety. And I pray that regardless of my selfish want to have you here with me that God's plan for your life will be manifested through this trial.

Love Always,
Your Babygirl

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Christmas Letter

Dear PB,

I'm sitting at my desk today enjoying the quietness of my office. The hustle bustle is over. The students are gone. The professors are heading out, and I am playing catch up. I have Christmas cookies on the table, and I've even donned a festive sweater. It is indeed the time of year to celebrate our Savior's birth. I believe that may be the reason that the thought of you not being home for Christmas has not knocked me off my feet. For me, Christmas isn't about me and you. It's about God. Of course, I love the traditions of Christmas and can't wait until you're home to make new traditions with me. I have already bought our first Christmas ornament. You'll love it, sweetie. I know you will. But even though this Christmas finds us worlds apart, I pray that you will remember who this season is really all about. I pray that you will have a Christ-centered Christmas, darling. I know that He is the Prince of Peace and the only one who can bring peace and joy. And that, sweet baby, is what I pray God will give you. Peace, Joy, Hope. And while I can't give you material gifts this Christmas, I pray that you know that my gift to you this Christmas is Love. Unconditional, undying love. 

I love you, PB. You are my smile, my sunshine, and my heart. You are one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given, and I am so very thankful for you!

Love always and forever,

A Post & A Letter

I turned on my Pandora this morning to get in the Christmas spirit.
And quickly found that all these Christmasy songs send me on a trip down Memory Lane.
This time last year PB and I were just beginning to get reacquainted.
I was floating on Cloud 9. His number was on speed dial, and I called him AT LEAST once a day.
We talked about anything and everything. We spent many a evening in the snow (in Georgia!).
It was magical.

Looking back, that's the only way I can explain it.
Some days I think it was all just an illusion.
Modern Day Magic.

I know it all really happened, but it seems so very far away from now.
This year I'm sitting at a new desk watching the rain fall outside my window.
And I realized today that I am very alone. 

My solution to pushy family members is just to stop telling them things.
Now my brain is full of things, and there is no one to tell.

Today I'm struggling with a family issue involving a washer/dryer.
It's one of the things a year ago I would have talked to PB about.
He would know the answer or would at least be able to talk me through until I came up with a logical answer.
I'm spoiled rotten, but no one else seems to get me like PB.

This makes me super lucky! And a little lonely.
Okay, more than a little ...

Dear PB,

Christmas is here! And I am struggling to celebrate. I know that the true meaning of Christmas is worth celebrating no matter what situation I am in and am actively attempting to celebrate Christ this Christmas. However, the emphasis of family and love at Christmas and the memories I have of last Christmas make it hard for me to be away from you at this time of year. I miss you more today than I have in awhile. So much so that I found myself talking out loud to the sky this morning. Thankfully, campus is nearly deserted so only a few people think I'm nuts. LOL or more aptly put only a few people know the truth ;) Anyways, baby, I know I'm going off the depressing end, so let me just say that I miss you super bunches and that I hope you have a Merry Christmas. And I kinda hope that every Christmas song you hear (hymns not included) reminds you of me.

I love you,