Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 2: Worst Date Ever?

Welcome back for Day 2 of the 

Valentine’s Day Challenge 
Today's topic is Love Telling this Bad Date Story AKA WORST DATE EVER.
And I admit that this one really wasn't easy for me. I've dated some super crummy guys ... but dates are in general positive experiences in my past. Very recently though I did go out on my first ever bad date. The problem with it was that it wasn't a great story. He just wasn't my type of guy, and I was just counting the seconds until I could leave. So, I'm changing the rules a bit and telling you random stories about the WORST BOYFRIENDS EVER!! 

WBE (worst boyfriend ever) Candidate #1: The Super Gentleman. Now see that doesn't sound like a bad thing at all does it?!!? But trust me it was awful. This guy was a bit TOO chivalrous. And no I didn't think that was possible, but it IS! We were both enrolled in our undergrad programs at a local college. After classes or when I got off work, he would gallantly show up wherever I was to walk me to my car. Which admittedly was really nice, however, once at my car he would open my door for me and then proceed to buckle me into my seat. Like I was a child. To say I didn't appreciate this would have been an understatement. One day SG brought some cherry cheesecake to me at work. Now I'm a nice girl so I didn't even tell him that I loathe cherries. I just ate the cheesecake and oohed and ahhed over it. I know that you were all a bit concerned about me eating cheesecake at work. You were probably thinking,"Oh my gosh, Babygirl, cheesecake is SOOO messy when you eat it with a fork. How did you manage?!!?" Well, not to worry, SG was kind enough to stand ready with a napkin and when I finished he proceeded to wipe my mouth ....
Shortly after that, I proceeded to break up with him ....

WBE Candidate #2: The Jobless Dropout. I mean doesn't he sound like marriage material already. I know you're all just dying to get with him. (And if you seriously are then hmu because he's single as they get!). JD is a lazy bum whose spelling ability is worse than a third graders. However, even with my love of words/grammar/spelling, I wasn't offended by his meager vocabulary, by the constant synonym hunts, or by the decoding of text messages/letters/any written communication. I was offended by his lack of motivation. Mr. JD was quite the catch. You see he had dropped out of HS before ever making the varsity football team. He hadn't played in an organized sports league since then but was convinced that any day a NFL scout would knock on his door and BEG him to come play football. Goodhearted as he was, he promised that when that happened he would open a home for kids. After a few months of me paying for everything, working 40 hours a week, him doing a whole shitton of nothing, and I was fed up. Crazy dreams or not, I was out ...

WBE Candidate #3: The Wannabe Daddy. WD should have been the dream guy. I mean isn't "wants to have kids" on every girl's must have list. And WD definitely wanted kids. However, it quickly became apparent that he wasn't looking for a real relationship. He just wanted a baby. I thought I was off the hook when early in our relationship WD was informed by the local gov't that he was the baby daddy of some girl's kid. Unfortunately, the fact that she wasn't ready to admit that he was indeed the dad led him to beg for kids. It got to the point that I was no longer sure if he liked ME or if he liked my uterus. So maybe he wasn't the worst boyfriend ever! But it's a good possibility that he would have been the worst dad ever. So thankfully I hightailed it right on out of that relationship ... 

And while I have TONS of other candidates, I'll leave you with those three :)

1 comment:

  1. Wow! How horrible they all are!
    Found you through the V-Day linkup and I'm following you.